


The Demons We Share

by Tyler743



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Justice League vs. Teen Titans (2016), Teen Titans: The Judas Contract (2017)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety Attacks, Character Death, Depression, F/M, Older Damian Wayne, Past Relationship(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:02:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23622013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tyler743/pseuds/Tyler743
Summary: After Raven's brothers attack Titan's Tower, Raven blames herself for Gar's death and makes the decision to shut herself off from the world even more than before to protect the ones she loves.Damian Wayne also blames himself as he was absent during the attack.Will the two of them be able to rely on each other? Will Raven's brothers return to finish the job? Find out.(Bbrae in the first chapter ONLY and barely even that)
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Koriand'r, Garfield Logan & Raven, Raven & Damian Wayne, Raven/Damian Wayne
Comments: 6
Kudos: 51





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This first chapter doesn't have Damian in it, but he is coming and hopefully it will be worth the wait!  
> Thank you for reading, please leave a comment if you enjoyed :)

Cold.

The air was cold and the rain only seemed to make it colder.

How long had they been out in the rain?

Minutes?

Hours?

Days?

Raven didn’t know anymore. She felt like she didn’t know anything.

_**Smoke filled the tower, the air so thick that it was hard for anyone to breath. Raven could hear Kory trying to guide everyone to safety, trying to make sense of what was happening. The fire had started so suddenly. No one had known that Raven’s brothers had appeared in the night. No one had known that they had been tormenting her for days, pleading with her, threatening her to free their father, Trigon. She wouldn’t and it had cost her.** _

Beside her, Kory sniffled and Raven turned to look at her, her head seeming to move on its own. Their leader was crying, something none of them saw very often. She reached up with a blue handkerchief to wipe at her eyes, Dick’s strong arm wrapped tightly around her shoulders. The affection made the empath’s heart ping in her chest and she turned her gaze back to the priest in front of them, her eyes quickly dropping to look at the wooden casket that lay behind him.

_**“Enough games!” Belial, Raven’s eldest brother yells as his large hand wraps around her throat and slams her against the wall. It was hot on her back, burning her skin, but that was the least of her worries. He begins to lift her against it and her hands fly to his wrist, trying as she might to pull him away. “Your teammates will die in this fiery prison all because of your ignorance! Free father and we will spare them!”** _

_**The higher he lifts her, the more Raven struggles for air, the hotter her back becomes and the more his talon like fingernails dig into the skin of her throat. But the promise he gave her is a lie, and she knows it. Nobody would be safe if Trigon was freed.** _

_**“Go...to hell...” she manages with what felt like her last bit of oxygen. Belial’s eyes narrow and he twists his body, throwing her across the room. She lands roughly on her desk which buckles under the impact and breaks into pieces. Pain consumes her; she knows her back is badly burned, her lungs are filled with smoke and something sharp is lodged into her thigh.** _

_**“You’re PATHETIC! No wonder father disowned you.” he screams and her, stomping over with his large cloven hooves. Behind him stands Suge and Ruskoff, both smiling maliciously at her, waiting, as she was, for the fatal blow.** _

The casket began to lower into the ground and for some reason or other time seemed to stop. Raven’s violet eyes never once left the wooden coffin, watching it as it slowly disappeared beneath the earth.

The priest closed the book he had been reading from and took a deep breath, looking out at the people in front of him; there wasn’t many, and in all honesty, Raven hadn’t even really taken notice to who had come. Her mind was blank, just filled with horrible images from that night. With one more nod and a half smile, the priest began to walk away.

_**“Raven we need to get out of...” Raven turns to look at the door, despite how weak she feels. Garfield is standing there, his elbow covering his face as though we were about to cough into it. His green eyes were wide and darted around from brother, to brother, to Raven.** _

_**Why had he come back for her? Why couldn’t he have just left with the others?** _

_**“Get away from her!” he yells, dropping his arm. Quickly he turns into a large gorilla and charges at Suge and Ruskoff. Swiping his heavy arms, Garfield knocks Ruskoff, who was clearly off guard, off his feet and halfway across the room. Suge immediately lunges forward to try and grab him.** _

_**“Gar no!” Raven yells desperately, a fear that had not been present until now flying through her veins.** _

_**The changling had no idea what he was up against. Her brothers were Trigon’s sons through and through. Even she was no match for them.** _

_**“Just get out!”**_

_**Like always, Garfield ignores her and dodges her brother, quickly turning into a snake and snapping out with his long fangs. His jaw latches onto Suge’s arm, and the mighty demon stumbles back, yelling out in agony as he trys to shake the snake off of him. This does not sooth Raven’s fear.** _

_**“Kill it!” Belial demands angrily at his younger brother, and the words cause Raven’s stomach to cramp.** _

_**“NO!” she screams. “Belial, it’s me that you want! I’m right here! Focus on me!”** _

_**Raven can feel herself begin to shake. She needs to get her emotions in check or else she runs the risk of losing control, and if that were to happen, then her brothers might just get what they wanted. Unfortunately, before she had time to do or say anything else, Suge caught the snake in one of his hands, the pressure of his grip seemingly so hard that Gar let go and a sound Raven could only describe as a inhaled screech leaves his mouth. Suge tosses him away and in midair he turns back into a human, flopping to the ground like a broken doll. From where she sat, Raven can see the distant haze in his eyes, the blood running from his nose and mouth.** _

_**At first, she doesn’t realize she’s screaming. It doesn’t feel real, it doesn’t make any sound. But suddenly everything around her is breaking, everything around her is falling. Belial actually looks intimidated and turns to his brothers. In an instant they vanish. In an instant, the tower is no more.** _

_**Everything went black.**_

_**When the dust settles and the smoke disappears, Raven can hear voices calling for her. But she doesn’t answer. Tons of glass and metal and debris lie around her, her back is still burned, her leg is still punctured. But she doesn’t care. All that she cares about is holding him, which she was despite not knowing when she had moved across the room towards him. Her trembling fingers grip his hair like nothing she had held before and her face was buried into the crook of his neck.** _

_**Azarath metrion zinthos.** _

_**Azarath metrion zinthos.** _

_**Over and over again she repeats her mantra, hoping, praying that it will bring him back.** _

_**“Santo dios...Kory! She’s alive! She’s here!” Jaime’s voice rings out. But she doesn't want them to find her yet, if they did, they would tell her it was too late. They would tell her there was nothing more that could be done.** _

_**This was all her fault.** _

“Raven.” Raven snapped back into the present and turned her head to see Donna there holding a large black umbrella. Her black hair was tied back into a long ponytail, her eyes surrounded by a thin layer of smudged eyeliner. Her eyes were red, she had been crying. “You coming? Or do you want a minute?”

Letting go of a breath that she had not realized she was holding, Raven looked around to see that everyone had gotten up and had started to leave. She hadn’t even heard anyone move.

She shook her head and pressed herself to stand, her legs shaking slightly under her. Donna reached out to help her, lightly taking hold of her arm and guiding her to her feet.

“I’m ready.” she said quietly, barely recognizing her own voice. Donna nodded and slid her arm around Raven’s, pulling her close so that they could both fit under the umbrella.

As they walked away, Raven looked back over her shoulder at the place the earth had swallowed him.

It didn’t feel real.

Nothing felt real anymore.

This was what she had gotten for letting her walls down, for getting close to someone. Gar was gone forever. No more cheesy jokes, no more toothy smiles. Her best friend, the only person she had ever opened up to, the only person she had ever...loved...was gone. And it was 

all

her

fault.

A single tear ran down Raven’s cheek and she turned back to look ahead of her, reaching up to quickly brush it away with her hand. Donna must have noticed because she gave her arm a tight but comforting squeeze.

“It will be okay, Raven.” Donna said quietly. “It will.”

Raven hoped she was right.

But right now, she felt like it was impossible. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Six months later.**

Raven sat on the ledge of her window, hugging one knee close to her chest, her violet eyes staring outside at the large, fluffy snowflakes that danced their way from the clouds to the ground.

A few of the trees surrounding their newly constructed, but not yet finished tower, were dressed in multicoloured Christmas lights that twinkled brightly under the snow, making the early morning seem brighter. 

The sun hadn’t begun to rise yet and from the earsplitting silence that plagued the tower, Raven could assume, neither had her teammates. But this came to her as no surprise, she was always the first one up for the sole reason that for the last six months she barely slept.

She couldn’t.

If she found herself sleeping for more than a couple hours at a time, she would be pulled into her subconscious and haunted by flashbacks from that night or false images from the future that she was sure Trigon was using to torment her. In the beginning, many a night she would wake up screaming, items in her room thrashing around like they were in the vortex of a tornado. Usually Kory or Donna or Jaime would rush in to help her calm down. Conner never came to help. She knew that it was due to the fact that be blamed her for Gar’s death, blamed her for destroying the tower and putting them all at risk. He didn’t know her like the others did, so she couldn’t blame him for assuming those things, but they still hurt nonetheless; especially because she too blamed herself. Had she just told the others of her brothers presence instead of trying to deal with them herself, perhaps things would be different.

A sudden reflection of light off of the snow caught Raven's eye and she leaned closer to the window, peering as hard as she could to see who was pulling in to the towers carpark.

It was early and as far as she knew they weren't expecting anyone. Unfortunately from her angle she just couldn’t see the carpark, so instead she watched the light, her heart spiking slightly in fear that it was her brothers. They hadn’t shown themselves since the incident, but she had a gut retching feeling that it was just a matter of time before they returned.

The light quickly disappeared, insinuating that the vehicle had been turned off, and Raven jumped to her feet, rushing over to her door and grabbing her silky black robe. As quickly as she could, she pulled it on and pulled her door open, rushing into the dim hallway. Her heart was beating so rapidly in her chest it was causing her whole body to tremble. Her rational side was screaming at her, telling her that there was an explanation for the incoming intruder, but her anxiety was fighting that part of her brain, telling her otherwise.

The closer she got to the elevator at the end of the hall, the more panicked she became. It only got worse when the floor lights above the doors turned on and began to move up.

They were coming.

Raven stopped dead in her tracks, images flashing through her mind.

“Kory…” she shouted weakly, her eyes following the elevators movements as it got closer and closer to their floor. Jumping to the side of the hall, she rushed to Kory’s door and started pounding as hard as she could on it, never taking her gaze away from the lights.

“KORY! KORY THEY'RE HERE! KORY!” 

Her panicked screaming and banging must have been enough to wake everyone up, even Donna who often struggled to wake up even on a good day, as each door in the hall opened to the others sleepily peaking out at her, questioning what was happening. Kory opened her door and flicked on the hallway light, looking down at the hectic girl in front of her with tired eyes.

“Raven? What’s going on?” she asked, her voice concerned.

The elevator pinged and the doors opened causing Raven to jump into a defensive pose, her entire body shaking. Dick, who was holding an arm full of messily wrapped presents walked out into the hallway, shock suddenly filling his expression.

“I'm sorry….did I wake you guys? I was trying to be quiet.” He fumbled awkwardly over the presents.

Kory smiled at him but before she could answer him Conner sighed.

“ _You_ didn't wake anybody.” He hissed, shooting a vicious gaze towards the empath. “I’m goin' back to bed.” And with that he shut his door.

“I think that might be best for everyone.”Kory agreed calmly, but slid an arm gently over Raven’s shoulders. “Back in your rooms.”

Donna and Jaime listened and closed their doors again.Dick started over towards the two remaining Titans.

“Sorry for coming so early. I wanted to sneak these presents in without anyone seeing them…but I guess that didn't happen.” He chuckled. “I thought everyone would be asleep.”

Raven felt embarrassed for getting herself riled up and waking everyone. Was this going to be a normal thing for her? Panicking over every little thing.

“I'm sorry.” She mumbled, her gaze falling to the floor. “I thought….”

Kory gave her a light hug, her emerald eyes softening. “It’s alright Raven, its not your fault. Are you having nightmares again?”

The empath hesitated for a moment before nodding slowly. “I guess so.” She lied. The last thing she wanted was for everyone to think she was being paranoid above everything else.

“Well why don’t you go back to bed, Dick will bring you a tea, and you try and go back to sleep on your own time. How does that sound?”

Raven nodded again as Kory pulled her arm away, though she knew sleep would not be an option…perhaps ever again. But if that’s what it took for Raven to heal, for her to not see those horrible, horrible pictures that had been so gruesomely engraved into her memory, then so be it.

She went back to her room, and within minutes Dick arrived with a hot cup of her favourite tea, chamomile and mint.

He didn’t say much to her, she wasn't sure if he knew what to say. Nobody seemed to. But she was thankful for soft smile he gave her and the quiet “sleep well” he bid her before leaving again.

This was what her life had become. Pity from others, or fear, or anger. Even awkwardness. She probably deserved it, but it made for a lonely life. Something Trigon no doubt wanted for her. She could feel his constant sneer under her skin, his amusement when she tossed and turned in what little sleep she got.

He wanted her to suffer. He wanted her to have no other person to turn to. No other options.

And in that sense, he had won.

But she would continue to fight as hard as she could.

For as long as she could.

She had to.

* * *

“Toaster!” Donna shouted from the kitchen into the living room as she continued to stir the stew she had been cooking. 

Raven who was trying to be as quick and as quiet as she could to make another tea glanced towards the doorway, her heart beating roughly against her ribcage. She could hear the boys in the other room clicking away as they played a video game, shouting at the TV screen, and hoped that meant that she would be able to slip back to her room before either of them came in.

Tipping the kettle to the side she poured the hot water in the cup, the steam warming her hands.

Donna looked over at her and watched for a minute. Although she had been quite nice to Raven ever since everything had happened, she still felt awkward starting conversation with her, especially because Raven rarely seemed like she wanted to continue said conversation, and always ended up giving short one worded answers. But she always tried.

“Hey Rave,” she chimed just as Raven picked up her mug and turned to leave. The half-demon cursed herself and turned her head over her shoulder. She hadn’t been quick enough. “I was thinking about going into the city today to do some Christmas shopping. I'd love to have a second opinion.”

She sounded hopeful, and it almost made Raven feel guilty for wanting to decline. Unfortunately before she could answer, Raven felt someone brush past her, and she turned to see Conner striding past towards the toaster. Her heart dropped.

“Why do you waste your time asking?” he asked coldly, gingerly pulling the toaster strudels from the appliance and dropping them on a plate that had been sitting there. “You know she won’t go.”

Another ping of guilt flew through her chest.

“It’s just that I…I haven’t been feeling that well,” Raven weakly tried to defend herself. “I was thinking I might try and sleep this afternoon.”

Conner snickered under his breath, turning around to face her, his icy eyes narrowing. “Yeah I was kinda thinking the same thing, you know…since you woke us up at the crack of dawn for no good reason.”

“Conner, don't.” Donna threatened, dropping her spoon and shooting a death glare at the clone.

He looked back at her, his face just as irritated. Raven immediately felt like opening a portal and vanishing inside of it.

“I just don't think it’s fair that we’re all made to suffer just because she couldn’t control herself. We're _all_ tired, we _all_ lost something that night, and yet _she_ doesn’t have to go on missions, she can lock herself up all day everyday and Kory doesn’t say a word. It’s not fair and she knows it.”

He looked back at Raven who suddenly found it hard to make eye contact. She looked at the gray tiled floor and swallowed, but her mouth was dry.

“I’m sorry about this morning…I thought-“

“Yeah, yeah. You thought it was your conveniently made up brothers who none of us knew anything about. When are you going to stop using that one?”

“Conner, don't be a douchebag!” Donna spat. But he ignored her.

“I didn’t make them up.” Why couldn’t she sound more confident? Her tone wasn’t helping her in anyway.

Conner nodded, his face twisting in a snide, false sort of way. “Right. We just didn’t know about them until they snuck into the tower without anyone but you noticing them, blew up the joint and killed Gar.” 

The kitchen fell silent. Raven's eyebrows furrowed above her eyes and she quickly looked from Conner to Donna who had now dropped her own gaze and was uncomfortably rubbing her arm. Everyone had tried their best not to mention his name after the funeral. It had just seemed, wrong to do so otherwise. Especially to Raven.

“Why can’t you just admit that you lost control. That this happened because of your mistake!”

“What is going on in here?”

Raven turned her head to see Kory, Dick and Jaime standing at the door frame, Kory stepping inside towards the three teens. Raven racked her brains for something to say, but there was nothing.

No words, no images.

Just nothing.

Conner huffed to himself and shoved the corner of one of the strudels into his mouth.

“Just getting breakfast.” He said, his cheeks puffed out with food. He looked at Jaime and began to walk towards him, roughly bumping past Raven, “Jaime, one more game?” 

After that Raven went straight back to her room. She hated what her life had become. She hated having no one to talk to anymore. Conner hated her, she knew the others didn’t but they still walked on eggshells around her. She felt the exact same as she did before she had joined the Titans, perhaps worse.

Pressing her back to her door she slid down to the floor and stared blankly ahead, the mug in her hands no longer as hot as she liked it.

Things hadn’t gotten better. She didn’t feel as though she were healing. She was being tortured. An odd warm sensation rolled down her cheek. A tear? 

Placing her mug on the ground she reached up and wiped it away, but more fell. But it wasn’t embarrassment, or sadness that she felt. She was scared. Scared that if she let her emotions get out of hand again then she would lose control. Scared that maybe Conner was a bit…right.

“Stop…” she ordered to herself in a weak whisper. “Azarath Metrion Zinthos, azarath Metrion Zinthos, azarath Metrion Zinthos.”

A light knock on her door caused her to stop her mantra. It was probably Donna, coming to either get a concrete answer to her previous request or to apologize for their teammate. It wouldn’t have been the first time she would try to make right of Conner’s ignorance.

Another knock.

Raven again wiped her face and shakily got to her feet, grabbing hold of her doorknob and twisting it.

“I’m sorry, Donna…I really think I'm just going to-“

As the door opened and her eyes caught sight of who was standing outside of her door, her words got caught in her throat and her eyes widened.

Dark, coffee bean coloured hair.

Soft olive completion.

Almost unnaturally green eyes.

It was not Donna, not anyone else who currently resided in the tower, but instead someone she hadn't seen in months. Heard from in months.

“Hello Raven.” Damian Wayne said.


End file.
